Transcript: Events

Introduction

Hey everyone, thanks for joining.

So, we’re here to have a chat about events. In this call, we’ll talk about how to get through them, and maybe even enjoy them, without feeling like you’ve run a marathon you didn’t sign up for.

Let’s be honest, events can be… a lot. Whether it’s a holiday, a birthday, or a big work gathering, it’s not just you. They can be a difficult time for people of all neurotypes. It’s a human thing. Whether you’re neurodivergent or neurotypical, we all have our limits, though those limits vary from person to person.

Where the stress comes from

We’re not just talking about the day itself. The stress can build up from the moment you circle the date on the calendar. And it usually comes from a few key areas that I think we all recognise, regardless of our brain’s wiring.

First, there’s the “present problem”. The pressure to find the “perfect” gift. What does that even mean? It’s guesswork and stress that pretty much everyone feels.

Then, there’s the shopping. The bright lights, the music that’s always just a little too loud, the mix of smells, and just… so many people. That’s a sensory overload waiting to happen for so many of us. It’s just inherently an overwhelming environment.

Speaking of people, that’s the next part: the crowds. We all have a “social battery”, right? It doesn’t matter what your neurotype is, that battery can drain. For some, it might drain faster, but it’s a universal experience to feel that energy dip.

And finally, there’s the organisation. The mental load of it all. The lists, the planning, the trying to remember who’s allergic to what… that’s a huge task for any brain to handle, and it’s a huge source of stress before you’ve even put your shoes on.

So, today, we’re not just going to talk about the problems. We’re going to share ideas and strategies for having a stress-free time, or at least, a less stressful time. And these tactics aren’t for one group; they can help all of us.

Presents

Let’s start with presents. My new rule is to go for meaning, not price. A thoughtful note, their favourite snack… that often means more. And honestly, just ask for lists! It’s not rude, it’s helpful. This helps everyone: it removes the guesswork for the giver and ensures the receiver gets something they’ll actually use. My family always share our Amazon wishlists, to ensure we know what we all want, even when we don’t buy from Amazon! You can also agree to not do gifts.

Shopping

Next, conquering shopping. Sometimes, your sofa can be your best friend. Don’t forget that you can shop online. But if you must go to a physical store, try to go at an off-peak time, like 10am on a Tuesday. This is a game-changer. Who wouldn’t prefer shorter queues and quieter aisles? And go in with a plan: have a list, get in, and get out. You can also wear headphones, whether for music or just noise-cancelling.

Crowds and the event itself

Okay, so what about managing the crowds and the event itself? First, protect that social battery. This is for everyone. Always have an escape plan. This is where that “during” strategy comes in. It is 100% valid for you to need a break. Know where the quiet exits are, or a spare room, or even just the bathroom. Step outside for five minutes of silence. Go sit in your car. A quick “reset” can add an hour to your social time, and just knowing you can leave for a minute helps.

It’s also 100% okay for anyone to set a time limit. “I’ll stay for an hour” is a perfectly valid and healthy boundary.

And bring what makes you comfortable: for some, that’s a “sensory kit” with fidgets. For others, it’s just making sure your phone is charged so you can have a little screen break.

Organisation

And finally, let’s tackle the organisation side of things: the mental load of planning. This is where a to-do list can become your best friend… but it has to be the right kind of list. A single item like “Plan Party” on your list is a recipe for overwhelm for any brain, neurotypical or not. It’s just too big and vague. The trick is to break it down into small, achievable tasks. Instead of “Plan Party”, your list should look like: 1. Buy snacks, 2. Send invites, 3. Pick a music playlist. Turning one giant, scary task into small, manageable steps is just good executive function practice for all humans. And don’t forget to use your tools! Set phone reminders, use an app, and delegate if you can. Most of the time, you don’t have to do it all by yourself.

Afterwards

Finally, let’s talk about the “after”. This is the one we all forget. Plan a “decompression day” after a big event. No chores, no social plans. Just rest, recover, and recharge. This isn’t being lazy; it’s necessary maintenance. Every brain, every person, needs time to recover after a big social or logistical effort.

The goal isn’t a “perfect” event. It’s a “peaceful” one.

Over to you

So, those are my thoughts. But now, I’d love to open it up to everyone. What works for you? What’s your best strategy? Or what’s something you struggle with that maybe we can all share some ideas about?