Transcript: Imposter syndrome and neurodiversity
There’s no recording of this talk to share, so this transcript is my script. What I said on the day may be a little different.
What imposter syndrome is
Imposter syndrome is a constant feeling of not being good enough, and doubting yourself, even when there’s plenty of evidence that you are. It often comes with a fear of being found out as a fraud. Neurodivergent people think in their own ways, so they can experience it differently. It can feel like the way their brain works somehow cancels out what they’ve achieved, which makes the feeling of being an imposter even stronger.
It’s important to remember that people from all walks of life feel imposter syndrome.
The poet and civil rights activist Maya Angelou once said, “I have written eleven books, but each time, I think, ‘Uh-oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.’”
The Oscar-winning actor Tom Hanks once said, “No matter what we’ve done, there comes a point where you think, ‘How did I get here? When are they going to discover that I am, in fact, a fraud and take everything away from me?’”
And Albert Einstein, the physicist who came up with the theory of relativity, once wrote in a letter, “The exaggerated esteem in which my lifework is held makes me very ill at ease. I feel compelled to think of myself as an involuntary swindler.”
Why it can be harder for neurodivergent people
Neurodivergent people live in a world that isn’t always built for the way their brains work.
A lot of the time, they can feel out of step with the neurotypical majority. So many neurodivergent people put a lot of effort into “masking”, hiding their neurodivergent traits to fit in. Masking can help socially, but it can also make people feel like a fraud, because they feel like they’re always pretending to be someone they’re not.
Neurodivergent people also often have “spiky” skills: really strong in some areas, and struggling in others. Negative stereotypes about neurodivergence can feed self-doubt. Even with all their skills and achievements, people can take those attitudes on board, and end up underrating themselves. Then, when they succeed at the things they’re good at, they brush it off. They feel that if they can’t succeed at everything, their successes don’t really count, and that feeds the feeling of being an imposter.
Using adjustments or assistive tools can make some neurodivergent people feel their successes aren’t really theirs, but the result of special treatment. If they can’t do something the way a neurotypical person would, like using a text-to-speech reader, or taking longer to do something, they feel what they’ve achieved doesn’t count as much, because they didn’t do it the “right” way.
Working through it
Self-doubt and imposter syndrome can take away the joy of succeeding, so it’s worth working on. That means understanding and accepting your neurodivergence, challenging negative thoughts, and finding supportive people and places. It also takes patience, being kind to yourself, and most importantly, noticing and celebrating what you achieve, big or small!
Imposter syndrome and diagnosis
For adults going through a neurodivergence assessment, imposter syndrome can be especially strong and unsettling.
It’s really common to doubt yourself during the assessment. Between appointments, and while waiting for results, a lot of people worry, “Am I being honest?”, or “Am I just overthinking this?” They might compare their experiences with other people’s, and wonder if their struggles are “bad enough” to count.
And getting a diagnosis doesn’t make those feelings disappear. Some people keep wondering, “Did I trick the assessor?”, or “Did I exaggerate?”
Imagine if the voice in your head kept telling you, “I’m a fake, I’m a fraud, I’ll be found out. I’m making this up as I go along. I have no idea what I’m doing.”
ADHD and autism
People with ADHD can find executive function hard, such as organising, planning and prioritising, which can make them feel like they’re not good enough. They can also find it hard to manage their emotions, which can lead to anxiety and self-doubt, and make imposter syndrome worse.
Autistic people can have their own kind of imposter syndrome: feeling like they’re not “autistic enough”, or that they don’t fit in with the autistic community. Autistic people can also find social cues and communication hard, which can make them feel like an imposter in social situations.